


Your Fucking (is) Distracting, Sorry I Ruined Christmas

by XenophonSpeaks



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Levi's POV, M/M, Neighbors, Pining, established erejean leading into ererijean, levi has a cat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-12
Updated: 2016-02-12
Packaged: 2018-05-19 19:54:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5979196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XenophonSpeaks/pseuds/XenophonSpeaks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi really hates his neighbors. Mostly because they're too attractive for his goddamn health and sanity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your Fucking (is) Distracting, Sorry I Ruined Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> A holiday prompt from the most excellent Glassesgirl0401 on tumblr which I'm finally sharing on AO3:
> 
> "I´ve seen this late but here´s a prompt anyway, feel free to use it if you like: ererijean where Levi lives on the top floor and this annoyingly hotasf couple on the first floor.he accidentally floods their flat while filling his bathtub and they force him to take them in on xmas"
> 
> I'm not going to lie to you, this is probably my favorite prompt out of all the ones I've ever received.

Levi hated his downstairs neighbors. Hated them so much he could hardly put it into words. It was a stupid, irrational, childish sort of hate that he knew wasn’t really hatred so much as absolute jealousy and bitterness, but Levi had never really been too keen on thinking overmuch about his feelings—nor did he have any particular desire to try to change them.

He just quickly learned to accept the fact that he couldn’t stand the two guys who lived below him and that was that.

It wasn’t that they were particularly annoying people. Well, perhaps that wasn’t true. They did argue a lot, and very loudly. Levi could hear nearly every word they ever spoke, and that was probably why it didn’t irritate him as much as it would have otherwise. The shit they argued about was so ridiculous and inane that Levi couldn’t even find it in himself to be angry, only vaguely entertained. He had turned off the sound on the TV on more than one occasion just to hear the two of them argue over why it was or was not appropriate to leave the toothpaste in the shower (Levi cringed at the image) or why it was unacceptable to cook pasta on a Friday night because it was apparently a Tuesday night dish? 

Levi often found himself grinning at nothing despite being extremely confused by the conversations.

Which would in turn make him frown once he realized what he was doing, because he didn’t like them, not even slightly.

What he liked even less was the very loud, very passionate sex they had. Levi kept odd hours and didn’t sleep much in general, and so somehow he always found himself awake and with a VIP insider’s ear to every dirty fucking thing they got up to. 

And they got up to a lot. Levi wasn’t sure if he’d ever encountered two people who had so much sex in his entire life. He tried turning up the volume on the TV as loud as he dared, and yet he still wasn’t able to completely drown out the noises coming from below (or the pounding shaking his walls, as the case may be).

It led to Levi masturbating more than he ever had in his entire life.

Levi hated them. 

He also started to really, really hate winter because of them, because winter apparently led to even _more_ sex and it was hard for Levi to escape out of his apartment into the cold to avoid the passionate lovemaking going on just below.

He also hated that he knew their names. One was apparently a Jean Kirschtein, or sometimes just Kirschtein if the other man, Eren, was angry enough. Eren was apparently Eren Jaeger, or just Jaeger when Jean was feeling particularly antagonistic, or so it seemed.

Levi hated that he knew their names and they had no idea he even existed. 

What he hated most, however, was how unfairly attractive the both of them were.

He had been returning from a run one morning in the last vestiges of summer to find the two of them leaving their apartment, apparently dressed for a nice day out. One of them was tall, long and lean with piercing eyes and a crooked grin that spoke of untold mischief and which sometimes still, even to this day, haunted Levi’s dreams. The other looked like a goddaamn super model, eyes so bright a green in his darkly complected face that Levi nearly felt himself trip and stumble when the man briefly directed a hundred-watt smile in his direction. 

He’d then leveled his companion with a fierce glare over something he’d mumbled, chewing him out in low biting tones too quiet for Levi to full make out but loud enough to make Levi’s hair stand on end. 

The heat of that glare was what really stuck with Levi, the look not so much angry as it was burning and Levi couldn’t get it out of his head every time he heard the two going at it below him.

He hated them. Hated their perfect, beautiful faces and stupid arguments and funny senses of humor, because Levi had caught himself laughing at something they’d said below that he could hear on a number of occasions and it drove him absolutely fucking insane.

He shouldn’t be fixated on his neighbors. His two neighbors who were clearly in a very committed relationship and for fucks sake Levi didn’t even have a chance because _they didn’t even know he existed_.

It was after one such evening wherein Levi could hear the two of the arguing over why it would be a good idea to get a cat. One of them arguing get one now, immediately, while the other insisted it would be a better idea to wait after their tax returns and Levi literally couldn’t stop himself from laughing out loud at that. 

Something in Levi suddenly snapped. It was the last straw, and he couldn’t take it anymore. It was fucking Christmas Eve, and he was cooped up in his own home with no one but his own cat, Snowball, an ugly black monstrosity of a cat that hated almost everything except Levi himself, and Levi just couldn’t take the reminder that there were happy couples who were attractive that lived below him and that were probably going to start having makeup sex at any given moment now and—

And Levi just could not deal. Not today. He needed to pamper himself immediately, or he was going to lose his fucking mind.

He got out the cleaning supplies and started scrubbing down the bathtub angrily. His birthday was tomorrow, and if he wanted a bath at midnight then goddammit he was going to have one. 

Snowball watched him imperiously from the counter-top, glaring at nothing in particular, and Levi spared a second to feel grateful to be friends with a creature that understood his disdain on such a deep and molecular level. 

When he finally finished scrubbing, he realized he could indeed hear moans coming from the apartment below. In a fit of anger, he kicked on the hot water, plugging the tub before stomping out into the kitchen.

He was going to have a nice, hot bath, and he was going to have some excellent hot tea to go with it, and no one would stop him or so help him he would fucking set something on fire.

He grabbed his kettle, filling it with water and setting it on the stove.

In the midst of hearing an incredibly loud, “Fuck, _yes_ , Jean, _please_ ,” come from below him, he forgot to turn the burner on.

This was something Levi would later come to regret.

For now, he figured he’d feed Snowball while his water heated, so he walked into the other room to find her, filling her bowl with a nice can of wet food because it was Christmas Eve and even his cat deserved better than having to listen to this shit.

Snowball came running as soon as the sound of a can opening filled the air, rubbing against Levi’s legs and purring loudly. Levi knelt down to pet her as she ate while he waited for the water to boil, the sound of the tub in the other room contributing to his dazed and hazy mind.

Not to mention the fact that he could hear absolutely everything happening below him, and his mind was providing him with some very vivid, detailed images of what was happening beneath his floorboards. 

“Fuck, yeah, right there,” he heard, heat flooding his brain and blood rushing south as he imagined one of them being fucked over the edge of the couch. Probably the super-model looking guy. 

Levi certainly knew he’d like to be on top of that, in any case.

“You like that, don’t you?” rasped another voice, and Levi imagined the taller guy giving that fucking sinful grin as he pounded into him. Levi could hear the sound of something being rhythmically moved against the wood flooring below and found himself inappropriately turned on by the idea of there being scrape marks on the wooden boards as a result of their having sex. It wasn’t fair. Levi hated for things to be broken and damaged or in a state of mess and ill repair. He didn’t want to find that arousing at all.

He hated them. Hated them for making him like shit he didn’t even actually like. Fuck.

He found himself still petting his cat distractedly several minutes later, face flushed and pants uncomfortably tight as he heard someone cry out. Levi was willing to bet someone had just reached orgasm. 

He shook his head, standing. It occurred to him that his tea kettle wasn’t screaming at him yet. Odd. 

When he walked over, it was to find the water on a cold burner. 

He paled, suddenly remembering that he’d left the water in the bathroom running. That was probably almost twenty minutes ago now.

He rushed into the other room, nearly tripping over Snowball in his haste, which earned him an angry hiss. 

It was too late though, far too late. Water was absolutely fucking everywhere, all over the floor, completely soaking through the rug and the bathroom matt and the floorboards. It had even cascaded out into the hallway.

“No,” Levi mumbled, a sense of impending dread filling him. 

Seconds later he heard a loud shout and someone yelling “what the fuck” below him, and he knew.

He had definitely just flooded not only his own apartment, but he had flooded the apartment below him. His hot neighbors’ apartment. The hot neighbors who were having sex and Levi had almost certainly just interrupted that, too. 

Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

Levi grabbed a mop and began pushing water back into the bathroom rapidly, trying to contain the damage to as small of an area as possible. His mind raced to try and figure out just how bad the damage might actually be to the couple below. Levi’s apartment was bigger than theirs, he knew. The upstairs apartments were all three bedroom, whereas most of the downstairs ones were only one or two rooms. 

Levi also had an extra bathroom. He was pretty certain they only had one, which was likely where all this water was leaking into. 

“Fuck,” Levi hissed to himself, not sure what to do. Who the fuck messes something up this bad, and on Christmas Eve, of all times?

Levi, apparently, he thought to himself with a stab of bitterness. 

He paused in shuffling the water around when he heard something strange come from below. He leaned down, listening closer, and sure enough.

Someone was crying. 

For fucks sake, Levi felt like the destroyer of holiday hopes and dreams everywhere.

Once he finally had the water issue contained and under control, he turned to Snowball, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked at her where she sat in the hallway, watching him with judging eyes as she liked her lips.

“I fucked up,” he told her.

She blinked at him. Levi felt like she was agreeing.

“We can’t even call someone to fix it until at least tomorrow, maybe not even until the day after.”

She continued to stare at him.

“I can’t just leave them in an apartment like that on Christmas.”

Silence. Heavy, judgmental silence.

“I could ask them to stay here. But only if that’s ok with you,” Levi said.

Snowball looked away, licking at her paw. Levi felt like that was probably the best confirmation he could hope for, honestly.

Sighing, he walked into his bedroom to throw on a shirt and a pair of lounge pants because it was probably not a great idea to show up at their door in nothing but his boxers. 

He turned to Snowball again once he’d finished. “Are you coming, or do you want to wait here?”

Her little black ears twitched, but she looked away, marching off into some other part of the house.

“Fine then,” he muttered, “send me to the wolves alone. See if I give you any more wet food tomorrow.”

He opened his front door and began a very slow, drawn-out walk down the stairs to the floor below. He imagined this was probably what people felt like on their way to the gallows. 

Somehow that thought served to perversely cheer him up a bit.

Before he knew it, he was standing outside of their apartment. He gazed at the door forlornly for a moment before steeling himself for god only knew what was about to happen.

“Fuck,” he grumbled to himself, raising a hand and knocking purposefully on the door.

The door swung open almost immediately to reveal the taller of the two men. His hair was rumpled, face flushed and amber eyes glinting with fire. Levi tried to tamp down the inappropriate part of his mind that wondered if the flush was from sex or from anger; he decided it was probably both anyway.

“Hi,” Levi said flatly. “I live above you and I think I may have flooded your apartment.”

“No shit,” said the guy, eyes narrowing, jaw clenching as if braced for a fight.

Levi heard a sniffle from inside the door before the other man was suddenly pushing his way through, his face the perfect picture of rage. 

Levi tried very, very hard not to notice that he still wasn’t wearing a shirt and failed spectacularly.

“ _What the fuck_ ,” the guy hissed. 

They both looked awkward and angry and in need of an explanation. Levi’s guilt won out and he decided to opt for blatant, self-deprecating honesty. 

“Look, I am seriously really sorry,” he began, voice still flat and expression still blank. “You two were having really loud sex and I was very distracted and jealous because I’m a single loser and tomorrow is not only Christmas but also my birthday, and in the midst of hating myself and eavesdropping on you two I forgot I left the bathwater running while I was petting my cat to make myself feel better.”

The both blinked owlishly at him, mouths both open in mirrored expressions of shock.

“Um,” the shorter one said eloquently. The taller guy looked like he might combust with humiliation. 

“I know I’m a terrible, awkward person,” Levi acknowledged, nodding. “But I also feel super bad about flooding your place on Christmas Eve, especially when my place is bigger than yours.”

Levi finally looked away from them, shuffling his foot uncomfortably and trying not to lose his grip on his poker face. “I thought I’d offer to let you guys stay at my place until we’re able to get someone to come fix things. That might not be till after Christmas, and I didn’t want you to be without a bathroom until then or something.”

They all stood there, staring at each other in silence for what felt like an eternity.

The too-beautiful guy seemed to regain control of himself first, nudging the taller man and giving him a pointed look. They seemed to have a silent conversation between themselves before they both nodded, turning back to Levi.

“Ok, so first of all, my name is Eren. This is Jean,” Eren said, gesturing to his companion. Levi felt relieved to finally know which was which. 

They both looked at him pointedly. “Levi,” he said.

“Ok. Cool. Second of all, just, what the actual fuck. This is like the weirdest shit that has ever happened to me in my entire life. You flooded our apartment because you were distracted by listening to us have sex?”

Beside him, Jean nodded vaguely. “I think I’m in shock, honestly.”

Levi hummed in agreement but said nothing further.

“Thirdly,” Eren began again, “We’ll, uh. Definitely take you up on that offer, as long as you’re sure that’s ok with you?”

“It’s the least I can do,” Levi said. 

“Ok,” Jean interjected. “Can we bring a few things up with us?”

“Sure,” Levi agreed.

He watched distractedly as Eren and Jean both turned around and grabbed a few items from their home; cell phones, a laptop, a few toiletry items, and some changes of clothes from what he could tell. They then met him out in the hall, locking their door behind them. 

They turned to look at Levi expectantly.

Levi gestured for them to follow, beginning the trek back up to his apartment wordlessly. 

“Did you say you have a cat?” Eren asked after a moment, hope evident in his voice.

“Snowball is even more of an asshole than I am,” Levi said in warning, voice echoing slightly in the stairwell. “But she’s nice. Her hobbies include cuddling and knocking a variety of breakable objects off of any available surface.”

Behind him, Jean snorted. 

“I love cats,” Eren murmured. “She sounds great.”

“Yeah,” Levi agreed, remembering when Snowball had knocked a glass off the kitchen counter for no apparent reason about a week ago. Levi was still finding shards of glass around the house. “She’s great.”

They reached his apartment door, Levi pulling out his key, when Jean’s low voice suddenly asked, “So. You’re into voyeurism, huh?”

Levi froze briefly before turning the key in the lock. “Frankly, I am into taking whatever I can get. You’re also kind of impossible to ignore. Believe me, I tried at first.”

Eren coughed awkwardly. Levi turned to find Jean giving him an appraising look.

“You could always just ask to join, you know,” Jean said casually as he walked past Levi into the apartment. “We’re pretty friendly.”

Levi felt his eyes widen as he watched Eren give a little shrug. “S’true. Nothing ventured, nothing gained,” he said before following Jean into Levi’s home.

Levi shut the door behind him, feeling like his life had suddenly become a very, very surreal Christmas miracle.

He didn’t hate them after all, he grudgingly decided.

**Author's Note:**

> Want to be tumblr buddies? Come and say hello. xenophonspeaks.tumblr.com


End file.
